Procrastination Is A Lie

You've been lied to your entire life. So have I.

There is no such thing as procrastination. My goal by the end of this article is to convince you of my belief that we are fed the idea of procrastination as kids. But that just like Santa Claus or the Boogeyman, it doesn't exist.

It lives under our beds and goes bump in the night.

I'm going to explain how our minds work, how our sense of time works, and how our sense of duty or purpose works. Once we have a grasp of these things, the core concept of procrastination should fall apart.

Let's start with a thought experiment — have you ever procrastinated something you enjoy doing?

Have you procrastinated playing a video game? Have you procrastinated watching YouTube videos? Have you procrastinated checking out the new single from a band you love?

No?

It sounds a little absurd doesn't it? Even asking these questions that have an obvious "no" answer.

The things we tend to procrastinate are more like homework, or doing the dishes, or writing that presentation for work.

Things we feel we should do, but don't really want to do. Things done from obligation.

Our frame — our belief of what is a choice and what is being forced upon us creates procrastination.

What if everything in our lives is a choice?

Not in the literal sense, but on the aggregate. Let's explore what this would look like...

How The Mind Works

On a deep level you already have a sense of this, but I'll put it into words so you can wrestle with it.

The mind is a single-tasking machine.

You can type multiple keys at a time on a keyboard, but the mind can only hold one simultaneous thought. Try as we might, it can only focus on one thing.

You cannot see the color blue and smell a rose at the precisely same instant. They are sequential. This is critical in terms of how we perceive the world around us.

We pretend we can focus on many different things, but even our eyes can only focus on one area at a time. If you pay close attention you'll realize you can only see a few letters on the page and your eyes dart around quickly to take more in. The same is true of the mind.

It's useful to start with this fundamental understanding because the concept of procrastination is built on top of this. Albeit with a bit of abstraction.

With this model of singular focus let's begin to examine procrastination. It stems out of a simple contradiction — you feel/believe/should be doing something with your focus other than what you are doing right now.

I'm intentionally not using the word time yet, we'll get to that later.

So you're focused on your phone, scrolling, or a game, or whatever. You're not focused on cleaning something, or writing, or working.

This conflict is what we all learn about as kids. Avoiding what we should be doing, by doing something else. The inherent conflict here is something we can feel.

Our body is uncomfortable, which ironically leads us to do more avoidance activities so that we don't feel this discomfort 🤦‍♂️

Let's explore this process a little deeper.

We commit to some task. Mentally we agree that we will do a thing. Whether that's a thing we agree to intentionally by raising our hand and volunteering for a project, or a thing we agree to implicitly by being part of a group like our family or class. We are making a choice to take this on, and this is important.

I'm going to reiterate this point... you and I make a choice about what we commit to. We can choose to leave our class, tell our family, "Fuck the dishes I'm never eating here again!"

Obviously, this can be a little extreme. It can also feel awkward to admit that we've accepted certain things.

But it is true.

Even as a kid we are making the choice to do as an 8th grader should. We get in trouble when we don't make that choice, but some kids do anyway.

This is the most important thing to realize and why I started this letter with this concept. We are choosing what we commit to. Always, all of the time. We may not like it in the moment or later on, but we've made the commitment. We own this.

Repeat after me, "I own my commitments."

You have to deeply believe this because it is fundamentally true.

The next step is to accept that you can only focus on one thing in this exact instant.

You are reading in the moment. I am writing. I may pause to think of how to tie ideas together, and you may pause to look out the window and imagine all of the fun things you could be doing instead of sitting inside and reading.

Regardless, if you're avoiding a commitment your brain will label it procrastination because that's what we've been taught.

The problem is here is twofold:

1. You likely didn't realize you were intentionally making a commitment when you made it, and if you did make it intentionally, you wish you hadn't for some reason (which we'll explore next).

2. You're spending time on an activity that you enjoy instead of something don't enjoy.

Problem numero uno is a challenge of awareness.

Write down on your phone or a piece of paper every group you've committed to. Any that you may be on the hook for doing certain things in the future.

Here are some of my current ones:

• My core family — this means Birthdays, moves, holidays, random meals, tech support, and a host of other things I can't think of now but will bump into me in the future (airport rides to name one).

• My partner's family — similar to the above, plus some extra things to help out around the house and buying groceries. This also means helping out with their family business if an emergency arises.

• My music school — I am expected to show up to classes, do some homework, etc. Usual school stuff.

I'm not part of any clubs right now, but if I started showing up to play chess in-person then this would be included. Or PTA meetings. Or work-related committees. Or friend groups. Or book clubs.

There's probably even more I'm not thinking of right now, it takes a little while to really dig down. Most likely, we've joined way more of these than we realize. A big part of feeling stressed-out comes from having too many implicit commitments.

When we sign up for classes or take on a new job we are making both explicit and implicit commitments. We may get a syllabus that shows our homework and assigned readings. But then realize we want to chat with other students, and need to show up to office hours or get a tutor, or do some extra studying to learn the material we struggle with.

This mix of the two commitment types is a major cause of labeling something as procrastination — how often are you not doing something you've committed to whether with awareness or not? How often have you committed to so many things that it's actually impossible to do them all and you don't know how to prioritize?

The solution here is rather simple, if we become aware of what we commit to it feels like our choice. Over time we can make more and more intentional choices. This means we are less like to want to avoid doing things, because we've chosen to do them.

This ties into the second problem listed above... spending time on something we don't enjoy.

I can hear you screaming, "But Nick...what about laundry!? Or vacuuming!? Or the dreaded dishes!? I hate all of these. I hate doing homework but I have to do it. I hade writing TPS reports but my boss makes me!"

This is part of the same societal lie we're told around procrastination. Let's explore it more.

Why don't you like laundry? If you had to, could you buy a new pair of underwear every time you needed to do laundry? Or a new pillow case?

Could you use the same things without washing them a lot lot lot more? This is what homeless people tend to do because they don't have regular access to laundry or the money to spare on washing clothes.

I'm not suggesting you try living this way, but run through your objections as a thought experiment. Choose what you want to commit to.

You could only eat off paper plates and order takeout to avoid dishes.

You could live in a van, down by the river, and never work a day again!

I actually like washing my clothes every two weeks it gives me a sense of joy. But it's because I've committed to my wardrobe and how I want to treat my clothes. It's my choice. It's my Marie Kondo.

The activity changes when we are the ones who are choosing something rather than feeling like we have to do it. And even for things we need to attend because of group expectations, realize that we're choosing to be part of that group.

I could stop attending my family's Birthday parties. It probably would disconnect me from them over time. And I love having a deep connection with them. So even on days where I have something else I'm enjoying or a friend reaches out, I choose to be with family.

Again, I choose to.

The final little trick here comes from a Buddhist practice. I'll explain with the laundry example.

I've chosen to do laundry, and since I can only focus on one thing, laundry needs to be my entire focus. Sure, there are things I could enjoy more on some level than doing laundry. But, I get to choose how much I enjoy doing my laundry. I give it all of my focus and magically the desire to be doing something else is gone. I'm focusing on the laundry instead of dreaming about another activity. Poof!

It's another level of choice — both choosing the activity and choosing the joy.

If I give my very best to my laundry, treat it with kindness, separate out the different types of clothes, check all of my pockets for crayons, and turn some things inside out, it feels different. I'm not just grabbing and throwing clothes into a machine to get onto the next thing in my life.

I'm present.

If I want I can listen to an audio book, but usually I don't.

If you're giving your best at your current activity, and give it all of your focus, you won't feel like you should be doing something else. You physically can't!

Remember back to the mind's single-tasking ability at the beginning? That's why this is an important foundation to recognize!

Time Keeps On Slipping, Slipping, Slipping...

Let's explore how our sense of time works next.

You've probably read about flow at this point, if not, it's how you feel when you're completely absorbed in a task and lose your sense of time. Everyone feels this differently, and can experience it during different tasks based on our expertise in them.

They've done brain scans of people who create and find that part of the joy comes from these different states of consciousness. When we are absorbed in our work, time changes. It feels different.

This is a great feeling and something we are addicted to on a fundamental level. I believe a lot of an individual's search for purpose actually has to do with flow. I'll talk about this more in an upcoming article.

For now, let's imagine you're sitting in your least favorite high school class. You are literally counting the seconds. Maybe tapping your foot in anticipation. Imagining everywhere else you could be and all of the fun things you'll get to do.

Now imagine your time in your favorite class. Maybe you're listening to a great story from your teacher or you're working with classmates on a group project. The bell rings and you barely notice you're so absorbed.

These two states are primal. In the first state your brain is tight. It's focused on the time. Yet it's not present. You're thinking about where else you could go and using your imagination to project yourself out of the present moment.

In the second state your brain is loose. The ideas are flowing in, you're taking action and absorbed into the current moment. You're totally present and lose the sense of time because you're not feeling it on a conscious level.

This first state allows you to do tasks that are uncomfortable and require thinking. This is your state when you're learning something new too. It's challenging, your mind wants to avoid it because there's discomfort. You have to actively choose how you feel about the task.

The second state allows you to hyperfocus on a single task and make progress. It's what I have to do to write, or what our ancestors did to hunt. We become absorbed and aren't aware of what we're doing.

Both are important though! The problem arises when we are looking for a task that we have to do in the first state, to feel like a task in the second state.

The only way this happens is out of habits. If we can turn first state tasks into habits, we can accept them into our lives.

Cleaning the bathroom can become a habit if you do it daily right before you shower. Then it isn't a major bummer when you try to clean on Sundays or when you have guests coming over. It's a little less poopy.

Is this starting to make sense? You can choose to make something you don't particularly enjoy into a habit and then you'll stop fixating on it. Dishes are the same thing.

Here's the magic — they've started doing brain scans on people performing every day tasks and certain people get into the same state of flow doing these tasks too!

You can actually create more of this state for yourself. I have certain playlists that I use when doing a task so my brain gets more focused. I've been testing brain.fm for this too.

The power comes in being intentional about what you want to have be an automatic activity for yourself. Choose your things, much like choosing your groups or commitments.

Purpose Isn't Just For Porpoises

To tie this all together I want to explore our sense of duty or purpose in relation to procrastination.

Do you have any family rituals around holidays? My stepmom's family has a specific way we always sing Happy Birthday to each other. It's a second verse, and everyone sings. Not that singing would be a chore, but it has become more enjoyable because we have our way of doing it.

You can take this same approach when it comes to laundry, or dishes. You can take this same approach when it comes to homework or making a presentation. If you set a standard with the group you've committed to, then it can be enjoyable. Make it into a game.

What does this look like for us in practice?

Set a fun standard for how the dishes will be done. Always dry and put everything away. Have a certain playlist going. Light a candle. Make it into a fun ritual so that everyone knows what the expectation of the group is. That way your idea and your partner's won't be different.

The same thing applies to homework or work work. What if you talk to your teacher and create a game out of the homework? What if you always do your homework in the same library with the same music on while sipping your favorite tea? Can you color code things? Doodle? Listen to fun music? It isn't about being the best-most-ultra-productive. It's about enjoying the task at hand.

How can you do this more with tasks you don't like? Write down ideas.

If we are making the intentional choice, either out of duty or desire, to be part of a group. We are making the choice to do the necessary work to remain part of this group. It's up to us to make it fun, to make it playful, to make it a habit. We've already chosen to do the work!

This is why I don't believe procrastination exists. It's a fundamental disagreement between something we've chosen and something we're doing.

We've made up the myth of procrastination to give ourselves leeway to not be intentional with our commitments. If you feel yourself avoiding something it's worth exploring why you feel that way. Avoidance is real.

Children are the perfect way to demonstrate this. They can literally play and have fun anywhere. And they often choose to do so when we want them to the least. Standing in line at the bank? In a quiet movie theater? A kid can go bananas and start playing.

It's a choice.

To sum this all up, here's a formula to use.

1. You choose which groups and activities you undertake. Not how difficult or uncomfortable they are, but the activities themselves.

2. You choose how to make these more of a habit for yourself. How to do things on autopilot and to be in flow. How to be present.

3. You choose how to make these more fun for yourself. How to play.

All of this is incredibly empowering.

One of the first things you learn as a writer is that writer's block is a myth. Your writing may not flow some days but you show up and do it and the resistance dissolves.

Procrastination works the exact same way. It's artificially created by you to justify an internal disagreement. It isn't real.

I hope you can take this into your daily life. Notice when you start labeling something as procrastination and explore it. Why aren't you doing it? What about it doesn't feel connected to who you are or who you want to be? Why must you do this? Is it your choice? Can it be fun?

Good luck!